What to do if you are feeling broken after an infertility diagnosis

By Erin McCollough 

Woman with hands over heart

If you’re feeling broken after an infertility diagnosis, if it seems like your body just won’t cooperate and everything you try fails, know that you’re not alone. I am sending so much compassion and empathy from my heart to yours.

I also want to offer you this: it is often the low moments that allow for the greatest opportunity. I have over 10 years of experience working with women who beat the odds and met their babies and what is true over and over again is that an infertility diagnosis isn’t an ending, only the beginning. Here are a few ideas and techniques that can get you through this tough spot…

Get broken feelings after an infertility diagnosis Out!

The first thing that is needed is to get out what you’re feeling. Let the tears flow. Maybe you need to yell it out in nature or go to one of those smash places and break things. Journaling can be an excellent way to get what you’re feeling out onto a page. Perhaps it’s time to see a therapist who can help you process what you’re feeling or find an infertility or infertility diagnosis support group so that you are surrounded by people who truly understand the highs and lows of the journey. Here you have some ideas to get off the emotional rollercoaster of infertility. Also, the weekly zoom meetups and affinity groups at Fertile Hope are a safe place to get it out and find support.

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Change Your Physiology

I know when you’re feeling broken because of an infertility diagnosis, the last thing you want to do is move; however, movement is one of the fastest ways to start feeling better. Dance, practice yoga, go for a walk, or play a sport that you love. Physical activity impacts mood by releasing endorphins, so you’ve got to move!

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Change Your Story after an infertility diagnosis

Low energy thoughts like, “I’m broken,” played through your mind on repeat can begin to literally change the cells of your body to align with that belief. Start noticing the story you’re telling yourself and know that you have the power to change that story. Raise your energy with thoughts like, “I am whole,” “I am experiencing challenges and I am resilient,” “This will end,” and “This is making me stronger.” If you need some help integrating new thoughts and beliefs, download my free fertility affirmation deck

Tap into Your Aliveness and Joy

Don’t forget to do things that you enjoy. What activities do you get so immersed in that you lose a sense of time? Perhaps it’s cooking, or gardening, or yoga, or creating, or time in nature. Choose to engage in things that have a timeless quality to them, with no expectations and no judgment.

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Pay attention to how you’re speaking to yourself. We tend to be far harder on ourselves than we are on the people around us. Think about how you would talk to your most loved partner, friend or child, and start speaking to yourself in the same way. Speak to yourself with all the love and compassion you can muster because you’re worth it!

Hopefully, these ideas will help to get you back on the road so that you can persist through all of the challenges that this journey brings.


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As with everything in life, you didn’t come here by accident.

So I want to share a 14-Day free trial of the Fertile Hope app with you that contains powerful mind/body practices including hundreds of fertility-focused yoga classes, meditation & hypnosis audio tracks, and more.

I designed Fertile Hope to address all aspects of the mental & emotional challenges that come with (in)fertility to make you feel SEEN during what can be one of the most isolating and stressful times of your life. Click here if you’d like to learn more about the services we offer and the thousands of women we’ve helped to hold their babies in their arms.

You’ve got this!

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