In this article, you will find a strategy that will help save your marriage during fertility treatments.
Boundaries to regain control on your fertility journey
Boundaries are one of the fastest ways to regain a sense of control on your fertility journey, a journey that often feels beyond your control. Boundaries with family and friends, and boundaries at work are all about saying ‘no’ and putting up a protective wall to preserve yourself and what is sacred.
However, boundaries with your partner or spouse are about saying ‘yes.’ In order to nurture a healthy relationship with your partner and save your marriage during fertility treatments, you need to find ways to say ‘yes’ to communication, listening and empathy.
Allowing space can help your marriage
Couples are rarely in the same place mentally, emotionally or physically at the same time. Trying to conceive and fertility treatments are demanding and often involve disappointment and loss. Everyone is going to grieve differently which can put strain on a relationship.
However, knowing that it’s normal to not always be on the same page and allowing space for both your needs and your partner or spouse’s needs to be met in different ways can help to ease that strain.
Here is a perfect example: A client in my yoga program was in her early 40s and had just had her second IVF cycle not work. She was at the point of asking herself if she should do one more round of IVF with her own eggs or if she should look into using donor eggs. She felt open to the donor egg option; however, her husband wasn’t ready to give up his dream of having a child with his sperm and her eggs.
My client dug deep and knew that she had both the emotional and financial bandwidth to go through one more round of IVF. That 3rd cycle of IVF did not result in a pregnancy. Giving it one more shot and then having it fail is what her husband needed in order to feel ready to move on to donor eggs. They now have their beautiful baby boy.
Allowing space for each person in the couple to have their own journey and remaining open to each other’s experience is a good strategy that will help you navigate the challenging times together and save your marriage, so that you can celebrate the miracles together, too!
