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March 26

This Strategy Will Help Save Your Marriage During Fertility Treatments

By Erin McCollough 

In this article, you will find a strategy that will help save your marriage during fertility treatments.

Boundaries to regain control on your fertility journey

Boundaries are one of the fastest ways to regain a sense of control on your fertility journey, a journey that often feels beyond your control. Boundaries with family and friends, and boundaries at work are all about saying ‘no’ and putting up a protective wall to preserve yourself and what is sacred.

However, boundaries with your partner or spouse are about saying ‘yes.’ In order to nurture a healthy relationship with your partner and save your marriage during fertility treatments, you need to find ways to say ‘yes’ to communication, listening and empathy.

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Allowing space can help your marriage

Couples are rarely in the same place mentally, emotionally or physically at the same time. Trying to conceive and fertility treatments are demanding and often involve disappointment and loss. Everyone is going to grieve differently which can put strain on a relationship.

However, knowing that it’s normal to not always be on the same page and allowing space for both your needs and your partner or spouse’s needs to be met in different ways can help to ease that strain.

Here is a perfect example: A client in my yoga program was in her early 40s and had just had her second IVF cycle not work. She was at the point of asking herself if she should do one more round of IVF with her own eggs or if she should look into using donor eggs. She felt open to the donor egg option; however, her husband wasn’t ready to give up his dream of having a child with his sperm and her eggs.

My client dug deep and knew that she had both the emotional and financial bandwidth to go through one more round of IVF. That 3rd cycle of IVF did not result in a pregnancy. Giving it one more shot and then having it fail is what her husband needed in order to feel ready to move on to donor eggs. They now have their beautiful baby boy.

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Allowing space for each person in the couple to have their own journey and remaining open to each other’s experience is a good strategy that will help you navigate the challenging times together and save your marriage, so that you can celebrate the miracles together, too!

Related articles: Supporting your fertility with vaginal steam baths, Yoga props for fertility, Fertility Hypnosis & Practices to Implement a Fertile Mindset, What to do if you are feeling broken after an infertility diagnosis 

In the IGNITE Your Fertility Membership I teach the five core practices of Fertile Hope Yoga: yoga, meditation, mindset strengthening work, gratitude, and community. I have seen time and time again how these practices support women trying to conceive (whether they’re trying naturally, in an active treatment cycle, or on a break).

You can email me with questions here.

You’ve got this!

Hi, I’m Erin and I’m the Founder of Fertile Hope Yoga. For more than a decade, I have led the in-person yoga for fertility program at the CNY Fertility Center. I am the Co-Creator of The Fertile Secret book and have helped thousands of women reach out and hold their baby after they had been told they could never get pregnant.

~ Erin McCollough
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